Money money money

Finally after satiating my appetite of 'satisfaction', 'drive', 'passion', 'what the heart says', etc, reality is finally dawning on me- 'its all about money'. Yes, finally i am forced to look at the 'conventional' way of 'success'. The next five years will be crucial in this aspect, and come January : need to reset my compass altogether, as its simple what held good for 30yrs will no longer hold good for next 10 yrs. Certainly time to move on....embrace it for better than argue it....society rules at the end of the day!!!

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Step ahead

Guess i am slowing realising the my key driving force at work. Well, its always has been ' rebel 2 differ ', it was always that 'this is what 99 people would do, how different can i do it'..But off late, i see another driver 'how can i stay one step ahead'- this seems to get embedded mainly in my time management exercise. How can utilise this moment to keep myself one step ahead of the lot, see more things than others, and see things which no one else is seeing. I hope this gives me the desired thrust to make my mark

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Gale to a Breeze

This is exactly how the past few days have been- comforting breeze from a violent gale. The feeling was amZing when my first client called last night and thanked me for the service, handed over 6 months back. Things seem settling down- got the landline at the office today- got to spend three days at the office in a weeks- projects under control..hope things stay the same way.

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Vibes

Vibes has been my best trusted compass for a while now- time tried and tested. Off late havent been feeling great vibes towards a particular project. Worst case scenario, we may hv to wind up- but seriously No Big Deal. Its wierd but i am actually looking frwd to it. Cos, this is the max, unconcerted, focussed and sincere efforts I can put it. Beyond this, guess a large company is the need of the hour instead of a small start up like mine. Hope it isnt get a dirty but a dignified affair. Need a break though. Time is what i stand to gain- to work, and move things forward. No the flip side, the only thing that wud get compromised is my finances. But having come so far, i thing i would somehow manage this. To conclude, its a funny feeling i have been dealing with for a while, hope there is new door waiting to open.

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Stress

Everyone around me says i am stressed out, need to chill, eat on time etc etc....of course i am stressed out. But then, what do u do,
A)when performances standards are being raised higher as the day goes by,
B)deliverables are lagging behind,
C)each day begins with new hopes of to-does, but end up as backlogs,
D)time is spent way too much on the meetings instead of actually thinking and putting things together,
E)when a particular project demands exceptional focus,
F) when u realise that out of 90 days of opening a new office, you manage to spend only 23 in the premise
G) implementation of operational systems is still pending
H) car is my whole and sole mate

Of course i am stressed.

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Phase to remember

Perhaps its the deepest trough i have ever been in my life. Experiencing a whole cocktail of different emotions. To summarise, I am free, I came out winning (depends how is it defined). BUT it took the following experiences over a three day period to do so - embarassment, shame, fear, guilt, depression, near death, repentance, redemption, hope, disgust, unforgiveness, desperation, renunciation, suicide, lost, et all. Glad its over, glad I died, glad i lost pieces of my armour, glad i fell, glad i cried. Its a new beginning, all over again.

::BJ:::::.. :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Life tests

All the way till now- to be equally fair- it has been journey where i havnt encountered any difficulties in LIFE as what we are used to hear and read. Life has been good- thanks to good upbringing, great spouse, greatest parents, wise friends and a strong logical gray matter in control of most of the things. But now after 30 years, i think i am facing the biggest challenge/ dilemma/ difficulty in my life. Glad that i have realised and have been realising this. Time to evolve and move on to the next level in life. And i have to succeed, no matter what

::BJ:::::.. :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Breathe slow focus hard

What a ride its been since the last 9 months- its like drifting in the sea - unpredictable, bout of calmness and roughness, oscillating between 'this is it' and 'this is nothing'. Experiencing new thresholds, redefinition of illusions, belief, confidence, despair, frustration, desperation et all- a total emotional cocktail. Have two projects closing out in the next one week and the 'pressure' is unbelievable to experience, jsut hope things turn out atleast 80% as expected.

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Breaking the Barrier

Well have been dilly dallying quite a bit over the 45 days- whether to 'break the barrier' or 'stay content'. Finally after much deliberation, 'break the barrier' has been the war-cry. Well, i have heard the following quite often- but have been lucky to experience over the past 6 months

a) You are simply as good as what you think you are

b) If you are good- you will have your share- no matter what the market (read world) trend is

c) Things may not necessarily go the way you plan

d) Man Proposes - God Disposes ( in my case,,its been for my own good)

So, to sum up the 'journey' has been really worthwhile. Never ever even for a second have i regretted the decision of change of tracks- in fact the more i think of it- wider is my smile. Also never to discount the fact that the world has been kind to me and have been sumptiously encashing on the beginners Luck.

Neways- Break the barrier is the word- Here i Come...........................