Phase to remember

Perhaps its the deepest trough i have ever been in my life. Experiencing a whole cocktail of different emotions. To summarise, I am free, I came out winning (depends how is it defined). BUT it took the following experiences over a three day period to do so - embarassment, shame, fear, guilt, depression, near death, repentance, redemption, hope, disgust, unforgiveness, desperation, renunciation, suicide, lost, et all. Glad its over, glad I died, glad i lost pieces of my armour, glad i fell, glad i cried. Its a new beginning, all over again.

::BJ:::::.. :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Life tests

All the way till now- to be equally fair- it has been journey where i havnt encountered any difficulties in LIFE as what we are used to hear and read. Life has been good- thanks to good upbringing, great spouse, greatest parents, wise friends and a strong logical gray matter in control of most of the things. But now after 30 years, i think i am facing the biggest challenge/ dilemma/ difficulty in my life. Glad that i have realised and have been realising this. Time to evolve and move on to the next level in life. And i have to succeed, no matter what

::BJ:::::.. :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Breathe slow focus hard

What a ride its been since the last 9 months- its like drifting in the sea - unpredictable, bout of calmness and roughness, oscillating between 'this is it' and 'this is nothing'. Experiencing new thresholds, redefinition of illusions, belief, confidence, despair, frustration, desperation et all- a total emotional cocktail. Have two projects closing out in the next one week and the 'pressure' is unbelievable to experience, jsut hope things turn out atleast 80% as expected.

::BJ:::::... :::::...:on...:::d::...m::ov..e

Breaking the Barrier

Well have been dilly dallying quite a bit over the 45 days- whether to 'break the barrier' or 'stay content'. Finally after much deliberation, 'break the barrier' has been the war-cry. Well, i have heard the following quite often- but have been lucky to experience over the past 6 months

a) You are simply as good as what you think you are

b) If you are good- you will have your share- no matter what the market (read world) trend is

c) Things may not necessarily go the way you plan

d) Man Proposes - God Disposes ( in my case,,its been for my own good)

So, to sum up the 'journey' has been really worthwhile. Never ever even for a second have i regretted the decision of change of tracks- in fact the more i think of it- wider is my smile. Also never to discount the fact that the world has been kind to me and have been sumptiously encashing on the beginners Luck.

Neways- Break the barrier is the word- Here i Come...........................

backwater

:::...::::B J::::::.......:::::::::::on::d:::...::m::ove

Floating weeds

:::...::::B J::::::.......:::::::::::on::d:::...::m::ove

Wembanad lake, kerala

Treuly amazing will come back here

:::...::::B J::::::.......:::::::::::on::d:::...::m::ove

Dillusions

Dillusion- when definite thoughts and uncertain thoughts cross each others. Boy no doubt this is the litmus one for holding fort. No two ways about it all. I have to put my BP and MP together asap. Though there has been significant omens popping up at the right time, its all a question of belief and energies! And also the most awaited omen has to see the light of the day, in the next fortnight or so. Now all of a sudden all the Wisdom oneliners seem to speak only to me. Also Direct Proportions will be the bottom line for the nights to follow.

:::...::::B J::::::.......:::::::::::on::d:::...::m::ove